Today Belongs to My Child

Today I will take my own good advice. I am blessed to have the day off from work. I could spend it on the computer, in front of the tv, cleaning, grading papers, or a number of other busy ways. Instead, I will take this 5 minutes to blog and then the rest of the day will belong to my daughter. Yes, I still might get some cleaning done, but it will be with her. We like to do our 15 minute de-clutter together (Fly Lady style). We might go room to room setting the timer and getting some of our mess together, we might mop a floor together, but it will be fun! To my daughter, it is fun time with mommy and she feels good to help. I will also choose a few things from my own Fun list (on the right side of this page). She would love to build a tent or play checkers. I'll let her choose. Maybe she'll come up with something new. Everything else around here can wait. I know that my chores will still be here tomorrow, my emails will still be waiting, the Internet will still look the same, and certainly all of the television re-runs will be at my disposal again tomorrow. What I will have lost is this day to spend with my baby and I can not get that back. Now that is when time actually is precious.

The Lack of Time Continued

I have already given you my opinion on your lack of time, now I would like to tell you a little about what I noticed in the children whose parents suffer from the same syndrome. I mentioned earlier that I am a teacher. I spend 8 hours a day with children, many of whom spend far more time with me than with their parents (not so true in my current situation, but certainly true in the past). In any case, if you are not spending enough time with your children, it shows up in their homework, their classwork, in their peer interactions and in their general behavior. I deal with quite a few kids who have stay at home moms and stay at work dads. Mom's are stressed out and often check out, so now the kids are lacking emotional support from both mom and dad. I see 7 and 8 year old children who are running the household. They do what they want, say what they want, and get what they want. This has to change! Children need your help with homework, they need to spend time with you, they do need undivided attention, but they don't need to run all over you. I spoke to a parent about her child not turning in homework and do you know what her reaction was? "We don't have enough time!!" Ludicrous.

I Don't Have Enough Time

Ah...Possibly the greatest curse of parenthood or of life in general. I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard this phrase. Perhaps then I could retire to a tropical island where time is all I have. Well, here's what I think about time. Over a lifetime, some of us may have more or less time than others, but at the start of each day, we all have 24 hours. I have the same amount of time as you and you have the same amount as the next guy. You either use it or you lose it, or so the saying goes. Do I use my time wisely? By all means, NO! I may just be about the poorest time manager in town, but nothing urks me more than someone complaining about time or the lack of it. People who don't have enough time to play with their children, educate their children, or spend time with their family in general are not using their time wisely. You do have enough time for these things, you are just choosing to do something else with that time. Think about it. For instance, I have spent far too much time on the computer today. That is time I could have spent with my daughter or doing other things that need to get done. I chose to spend the time here; however, the time that I was away from the computer, I was spending with my daughter. We played games together, we read books, we made dinner together, we ate dinner together, we even cleaned together. How many of you can honestly say that you spent that much time with your child or family today? Think about what you chose to do instead and think about how you can change that tomorrow. You do have enough time.

I'll Start at the Beginning

Everyone has opinions on parenting, even those who do not or have never parented. I wanted to share my opinions in a blog. I do not take full credit for all of my ideas, for parenting has been around far longer than I have. Both good and bad advice has been passed down for generations. I am hoping to take what I have learned, synthesize it, and pass on what makes sense to me.

First, a little about me. I am fairly new to parenting, not an expert by any means. The advantage I have over some is that in addition to being a parent, I am also a teacher. I have seen, first hand, the affects of every different kind of parenting strategy you can imagine; the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have also had the benefit of foster parent training which I found incredibly insightful and useful. I refer to my training often. I also refer to other parents, the best source in the world. I do keep in mind; however, that not all advice is good advice; therefore, second, third, and even fourth opinions are often necessary. Again, I take what I learn, I synthesize it, and I use what makes sense. I expect that you will do the same.
I suppose the most important thing to remember, whether we are parenting or educating children (hopefully we do both), is that all children, all people, are different; all situations are different; what works for one child may not work for another; what works in one situation may not work in another. Children respond differently to different types of discipline; therefore it is important to know what your child responds to (positively) and then be consistent. Oh yes, consistency. That is the key. I suppose if you remember one word from this blog, it should be consistency. I'm sure it is a word you have heard over and over, particularly when referring to raising children and even more precisely when referring to discipline. I suppose since this word does come up so often, we should pay attention.

I Can Do This!

I have so many ideas for this blog, but no clue where to start. I will come back later when I have a plan.